| DUNKLES & JAFFA CAKES |
| Market Square Heroes Apologies to all for using a Marillion song as my title, but under the demanding circumstances, all the contributing breweries were heroes in my book. The North Market Microbrew Fest, which took place on Saturday Sep 15th, was a cramped, busy, claustrophobic affair. Taking place on the second floor, with approximately six feet of space between vendor and the balcony, the breweries and their staff made a magnificent job of dealing with what seemed like millions of people eagerly holding up their souvenir pint glasses, all trying to get a (half) pint of ale. The throngs had calmed down by mid-afternoon, but there was a serious lack of planning on behalf of the North Market. There were times when I couldn't even get to a brewery table, thanks to the static crowd which seemed to be in a trance-like state (perhaps due to some high-gravity pints). And who had the bright idea of allowing folks to push baby strollers around ? Talk about a traffic jam, it was worse than Tottenham Court Road at rush hour ! But, let's start with an incredible breakfast. I was sitting there at the North Market purveying the crowds when Lord Pat arrived at the table holding a plate (a real plate) of what I can only describe as The Great British Breakfast -- huge sausages, fried eggs, baked beans and doorstep slabs of toast. Imagine my surprise and chagrin when Pat told me it's the classic French breakfast, known as Cassoulet. Upon further interrogation Pat told me that this information came from one of food vendors on the ground floor. Thus, I took it upon myself to get a plate of the British rip-off breakfast, and investigate the history of this delicious tucker. The bloke I spoke to was French, so clearly I was going to get a biased opinion -- however, it appears Cassoulet is a rich, slow-cooked bean stew or casserole which originated in the southwest of France. Typical meats include pork sausages, goose, duck, mutton and boar, plus white haricot beans. Some regions in France use tomato sauce as well. The dish dates back to the Hundred Years War, which was a conflict between England and France between 1337 and 1453. The conflict was noted for the large number of fantastic victories by the English over the French; we gave them a bloody good hiding on a regular basis -- the most notable hiding being the Battle of Agincourt when King Henry V used his Welsh longbowmen to totally decimate the Frog cavalry. Cassoulet was a peasant food in those ye days, which makes sense as French peasants often assisted the Frog army in their defeats against the English. I suspect that French prisoners-of-war were curious about the bean and meat dish that the English army were being served, and in classic French fashion they stole the recipe and claimed the dish as their own -- but we at Roberts Manor know better: Cassoulet couldn't be more ENGLISH ! For the history buffs reading this, after 1453 the English got a bit bored continually fighting the French, so we made a strategic withdrawal from France and went 'oop North and picked on the Scots instead. Coat-of-Arms of England Coat-of-Arms of Burgandy during the Hundred Years War who supported England during the Hundred Years War. Battle of Agincourt (1415) -- "Next thing they'll be stealing our bloody recipe for Jaffa Cakes !" So, with breakfast done, it was time for some serious ale tasting. The Columbus Microbrew Fest featured six local breweries (known as the "six- pack"): Columbus Brewing Co; Gordon Biersch Brewing; Hoster Brewing Co; Elevator Brewing Co; Barley's Brewing Co; Barley's Smokehouse & Brewpub. There was also a "special guest" brewery: Weasel Boy Brewing Co. from Zanesville. First up was Weasel Boy Brewing. This relatively new brewery is the brainchild of Jay Wince, assisted most ably by his wife Lori (a.k.a "hophead"), and is, in fact, the first legal brewery in Zanesville since the beginning of Prohibition on November 18th 1918. The Dunkles & Jaffa Cakes team like Weasel Boy Brewing Co; we found Jay and Lori to be a delightful couple, who were more than willing to talk about ales and ale brewing. After the crowds arrived in force at the Microbrew Fest, we lost sight of the couple, but this is a young brewery that we thoroughly endorse -- and a trip over to the brewery tap in Zanesville is surely on the cards. 1) Weasel Boy River Mink Mild Brown Ale 4.5% -- Firstly, it's good to see a Mild Ale (the more common name for Brown Ale) in the States, as CAMRA (The Campaign for Real Ale) is going out on a limb to try and preserve this old style in the UK. The good news is they've had some success -- indeed, Hobsons Mild (3.2%) won the Champion Beer of Britain award at The Great British Beer Festival which was held in August 2007. River Mink Mild is dark brown in colour, due to the use of roasted malts and at 4.5%, could qualify as a Strong Mild. Although a little "thin" in texture, River Mink gave a rich malty aroma and flavour with a gentle undercurrent of hop bitterness -- I picked up a hint of liquorice in the mix as well. A promising start 7/10. 2) Weasel Boy Plaid Weasel Scottish Ale 4.5% -- Darker, sweeter and less hopped than their Mild Ale, the Plaid Weasel had a malty aroma that could wipe out a swarm of mosquitos at a hundred paces. Lighter in body than its Scottish counterpart, it reminded me of a Scottish 60 Shilling Ale crossed with a Brown Ale from Carlisle. A Hadrian's Wall Ale, if you will. Would be delicious with a plate of tatties and herrin'. We're still in good shape 7/10. 3) Weasel Boy Dancing Ferret IPA 7% -- You've heard it before, but I'll say it again; what a RIPPER of an ale ! All the parts are in the right place with this IPA -- a little bit of sweet malt, a BIG spicy, peppery bitter hop character that gives an instant kick to your taste buds, and a lot of citrusy hints. Made with three classic Pacific North-west hops for aroma and bitterness (Warrior, Amarillo and Centennial), this IPA is a classic of its type. The Dancing Ferret would have delighted the British troops awaiting their beer rations in 19th century Calcutta. Quite simply, the dogs bollocks. A very well deserved 11/10. Jay & Lori Wince (not too sure Holding tanks at Weasel Boy Brewery. The Royal logo. about that dodgy hat !) 4) Gordon Biersch Marzen 5.7% -- The point of alefests is that is gives an opportunity to try beers that one might not ordinarily taste; or be willing to taste. I mean, there's no bloody point going to an alefest and just drinking pale ales and IPAs. Thus, I took this opportunity to try some ales that might not normally be found in the Roberts Manor cellar. Gordon Biersch is a chain brewpub that deals with German beers, with a Czech pilsner thrown in for good measure (although why they think their Czech-style Pilsner could possibly come close to the "real" thing i.e. Pilsner Urquell, and Budweiser Budvar...read Czechvar in the States, is beyond me). Anyway, their Marzen is a sad, sickly sweet affair, with a nasty malty aftertaste. A sort of weak Great Lakes Eliot Ness. The "official" description says "It was originally brewed in March and stored in caves to be drunk during the warmer weather". Well, that's where it needs to be stored -- in a bloody great cave, with a huge rock superglued to the entrance saving mankind from this monstrosity. 0/10. 5) Barley's Rye IPA 6% -- This is a confusing ale. It starts off with distinctive floral notes of lemon mint and then attacks the taste buds with a peculiar bitterness. There's the expected hop bitterness, but there's also something else, a sort of lemon bitterness that is quite unappealing. It has a lemon finish which descends into a stale aftertaste that lasts for way too long. The use of rye clearly has something to do with the taste and I would suggest it might be better served for making bread or Rye Whisky rather than a "trendy" IPA. Mind you, Barley's Rye IPA would make a great insecticide -- had I sprayed it over the plagues of Japanese Beetles that decimated my flower beds this summer, I could have saved many of my floral displays. As it stands though, methinks this is another example of an ale being art for arts sake. 0/10. 6) Gordon Biersch Schwarzbier 4.3% -- Tim informed me that Schwarzbier means "black beer" in German, and that he wasn't overly impressed with this offering. In the classic fashion from the Fatherland, it is indeed black, malty, and sweet. Slightly leaning towards a porter- style, with the Schwarzbier being a little on the roasted side, it just really wasn't my cup of Earl Grey. Being lighter in body than the Marzen, I found it easier to deal with than the caveman beer. A slightly generous 3/10. If you follow the Gordon Biersch logic, if the D & JC team opened a brewpub called Gordon Bennett, we'd be serving pale ales, bitters, milds, porters, stouts, barley wines and IPAs -- well, it's just a thought ! 7) Columbus Brewing Co. 1859 Porter -- Here's one I wouldn't normally try -- why ? Because it tasted like complete SHITE ! Made with chocolate malt and the classic English pair of East Kent Goldings and Fuggles hops, this porter was as black as a lump of Welsh coal. It made the Schwarzbier look anaemic. Pouring with a thick yellow head, the 1859 Porter came with all the usual ingredients: malty, roasty, with a quite intense hop bitterness, finishing with a roasted bitter aftertaste. Absolutely vile. However, I have no doubt in my mind that this is probably one of the best examples of a 19th century porter available in this country -- again, just not my cup of tea. However, it does explain the high levels of insanity in 19th century Britain. What would I have given for a glass of Ribena, to take the taste away at this stage. -1/10 . 8) Elevator Brewing Co.Xtra -- I have yet to taste an Elevator beer that I actually like, and their Xtra did nothing to change the status quo. It's a Kolsch beer (original style being brewed in Cologne), and looking through some of my many reviews from our trips to The Outerbanks Brewing Station, I've rated their Kolsch (called Olsch) around the 6/10 mark and used the word "refreshing" rather a lot -- The OBBS Olsch is an actual favourite of Lady Roberts. So where does that leave the Elevator Xtra ? To begin with, it had the smell of a fresh pilsner -- that's promising; and had the colour of gnat's pee -- that's also usual for the style. After that though, it all fell apart. The initial taste was of carbonated water with a small dash of lemon added as an afterthought. The second, third and fourth tastes confirmed this impression. The fifth taste exposed a faint trace of hop character, hiding so far back in the mix you'd think it was embarrassed to reveal itself (it probably was). The OBBS Kolsch has an ABV of 4.8%; I would gather a guess and say the Elevator Kolsch is probably 0.2% ABV. It is truly a NOTHING beer, practically tasteless, with nothing to distinguish it apart from a bit of fizz. You could repackage it and describe it as a "non-alcopop". I'd rather drink the bloody 1859 Porter -- at least it has character, body and flavour. The Elevator Kolsch is a complete disgrace to the city of Cologne and the worst Kolsch I've ever tasted (should there be a taste). And unfortunately as such, I'm forced to give it my lowest ever score -12/10. Now folks, if you want to read a great review of the Elevator Kolsch, I recommend you read Tim's review. He loved their Kolsch, and gave it 10/10. Tim picked out flavours, textures and nuances that completely missed me. Which just goes to prove -- all together now – “One bloke's ale is another bloke's Liquid Plumber !” And that was it for the Microbrew Fest. The D & JC team headed across the road to Barley's for more ales and reviewing -- details of which can be found on my Tasting Notes from the Manor page. Cheers ! (and apologies to the Cassoulet people for leaving my plate upstairs !). |
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| IAN'S 9/15/2007 COLUMBUS MICRO BREWERY FEST REVIEW |
